26 trips around the sun

Tomorrow is my 26th birthday. I remember waking up on my birthday as a child and somehow feeling older. The last time I remember that feeling is when I turned 12. The last couple of years, I start getting all contemplative on my birthday. 26 is young in the scheme of things, I’m well aware. But it’s not like you can say I’m a kid anymore. I’m most definitely a GROWN-UP. I’m a WOMAN. Childhood is really over, and I won’t get it again. Ever. Never Ever. I will only get older from here on in. There’s a point when this fact, one that you’ve always known and just glanced over, really becomes understood. And I assume it will get clearer every year, with every advancing number. Life is short.

Oh man, I can already tell I’m gonna cry.

Limelight

Hey guys-

Didn’t have a chance to write yesterday as I was busy as shit! So much invoicing…

So anyway, tonight I’m singing a song at a piano bar in midtown, and I’d appreciate your loving vibes (especially since I have to make a mad dash to the theater right after work!) I haven’t performed in a while, so it’s a nice opportunity to get to do what I really love in front of people… I love being in the spotlight.

Blessings

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I had a great long weekend, and the weather held out pretty well. Now I’m back to work.

Anyway, sometimes I can feel a bit antsy, like the whole realm of possibilities is a little too scary, and the unknown can start to freak me out. I’m stuck in a spiral of What-If, and I can’t get out of it. If I wasn’t careful, it’d be pretty easy to fall right smack-dab in the middle of a panic attack, and lord knows I hate those. So my new tactic for dealing with these episodes is to use my creative powers to send a blessing to someone else.

Sunshine

I didn’t post yesterday. I tried to. I opened the window, started to type, and it just wasn’t there. I couldn’t think of the right topic, so I just… didn’t write. It felt like it would be inauthentic to pull something out of my ass. Instead I read some other people’s blogs, and found a lot of joy and comfort in doing so.

The internet is such a fantastic resource, for many reasons, one of which being that it gives you the opportunity to connect with people you otherwise would not be able to. Something as easy as entering a couple of keywords gives you a perspective you haven’t yet seen. I love that blogs have given voice to people, and that there is a record of the thoughts they’ve had. Barring a huge disaster, these blogs will live on for a while, and that’s a little comforting.

I encourage you to do some searching around for topics and interests you might not have looked into before, and to expose yourself to as many points of view as you possibly can. It can only help to better serve the world, and our ability to relate to those in it. Have a lovely Memorial Day!

 

LOVE-

Adge

You Fckn Did It

Got that amazing Jason Mraz song stuck in my head (seriously, if you haven’t heard it, GO NOW), so I figured it would be an apt title. I love that song so much, it’s like a perfect combination of funny and sweet, and it’s kinda like my theme song right now. Check it out:

An exercise in persistance

Oh man, I do not feel like blogging today. I’ve been working ALL DAY, and I’ve got 3 more hours to go. I’m hungry, cranky, my brain is fried, and I have no food at home. I’m sick of hearing the phone ring, and all I want to do right now is go and chill with my boyfriend, but he’s busy all night… So you can imagine how coming up with an inspirational blog post might be a bit of a challenge right now! But I’m here, because the simple act of writing this anyway illustrates my commitment. I am braindead, but I’m writing through this crappy state. This might not be a golden blog post.

Isn’t It Ironic?

I’ve found (and I know I’m not alone in this) that when you look back on your past, I can see that even the “bad things” were in fact moving me along towards what I really needed. Meaning to say, it’s easy in hindsight to see how I was ALWAYS moving towards where I am now, and that everything was working to get me here. Everyone has thought “well, if that {insert “bad thing” here} hadn’t happened, then I never would’ve {good thing}.” Of course, it’s not easy to see that while that “Bad Thing” is happening in this very moment.

I’ll Rise Again

Let’s see… lighthearted Friday post.

All I can think about is how these flowers in front of me smell like GARBAGE.

Anyway. It’s a beautiful day in New York City, and it promises to be a lovely weekend too. We’re going to be singing in church again this weekend, which is always fun. The choir season is drawing to a close, which is a little bittersweet. This was my first season in the choir, and it went so well. I had such a great time, met fantastic people, and even got a huge solo in the concert (plus was in a trio, and got to do a reading before a song). I won’t be a newbie anymore, I’m now seasoned. I’ll be looking forward to having my Thursday evenings to myself, for the summer at least. But time keeps moving forward.

VIP

One of my teachers, Gabrielle Bernstein (who is a friggin awesome lady, and who teaches A Course In Miracles) often talks about the ego’s “special relationship,” and how dangerous it can be. A “Special Relationship” is any relationship you have where you consider the other person to be better or more important than you. Often this can happen in romantic relationships, where you make the other person your ENTIRE world. You completely lose yourself, forgetting about your friendships and other obligations, devoting all your vital energy into your new relationship. I don’t think I need to tell you that these relationships don’t end well, and you’ll probably end up full of regret… I wish I could go back and tell myself, though.

Well that’s easy for YOU to say, but…

Your faith is truly tested when you have to face a challenge. That’s the time when you learn most about yourself, and your limits (or lack thereof). It’s easy for me to talk to my friends about prayer and god when everything is going great, but it’s another thing to keep my vibration high when life is kicking my ass. I think the key might be to change my definition of “challenging,” so that I can keep my perspective when the shit hits the fan, and remember what my blessings really are… but how in the hell do you do that? Especially when the New Yorker in me wants to start complaining and freaking out?