Tomorrow is my 26th birthday. I remember waking up on my birthday as a child and somehow feeling older. The last time I remember that feeling is when I turned 12. The last couple of years, I start getting all contemplative on my birthday. 26 is young in the scheme of things, I’m well aware. But it’s not like you can say I’m a kid anymore. I’m most definitely a GROWN-UP. I’m a WOMAN. Childhood is really over, and I won’t get it again. Ever. Never Ever. I will only get older from here on in. There’s a point when this fact, one that you’ve always known and just glanced over, really becomes understood. And I assume it will get clearer every year, with every advancing number. Life is short.
Oh man, I can already tell I’m gonna cry.
I have been so extraordinarily blessed in my life. First of all, I was lucky to be born, as a woman, in America, in the year 1986. There are far more difficult places and times to be born, and female. I was born into a loving, whole, and supportive family. My parents are still married. My sister is a fantastic human being. We all genuinely like each other as people. My parents were always able, even through financially stressful times, to pay for me to be clothed and fed, and to enjoy myself as a child. I went to wonderful public schools that were blessed with good funding, with great teachers. I didn’t have to have a job until I was 19 years old. I was given many opportunities to perform and shine, and received love and support from almost everyone around me.
My parents underwent significant financial strains to pay for my schooling, but they DID IT. FOR ME. I was able to attend a conservatory for musical theater, in New York City. I took only classes I wanted, and spent nearly every day for 2 years singing, dancing, acting, and hanging out with extraordinary people. I was able, through my parents’ help and my own jobs, to always be housed and fed and clothed in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I have been paid to sing. I have successfully lived in this city for going on 8 years, and I will stay here for many more to come.
Within the last year, I was – “blessed” just doesn’t even begin to cover it – with a man who is a better match than I could have ever hoped for. Every day I am so completely flabbergasted this man – this kind, funny, smart, gorgeous, charming, generous and magnetic man – actually loves me. For real. I have found a job that I love. I know I am valued and respected, I can see growth for the future here, and I actually LIKE going to work.
I have started down a spiritual path that has taught me that it’s perfectly fine to be vulnerable and open to divine inspiration. I’m learning so much every day, and I know that there are decades of enlightenment ahead of me.
Hell, I was blessed just to be BORN at all. On a planet that’s just right for life. Out of billions upon billions of planets, I’m HERE.
Times like this, I can really see that the things I complain about don’t even exist. The MTA, my weight, the theater industry, bullies from school, not being extremely wealthy… blah blah blah! Those things are all vapor, already gone and dissolved into the nothingness of the past tense. In this moment, right here and now, I am warm, healthy, and loved.
And I am so honored and blessed to be given another day, another year, another chance to do it all again. To make mistakes and learn from them, to explore this incredible planet, to tell people that I LOVE them.
Tomorrow at 9:27pm central, I will begin my 27th trip around the sun.
I’m so THRILLED.
Happy Birthday to everybody!